Some days, I just don't want to go on:

I know you may be surprised to hear from me as I am not a typical blogger, but I feel compelled to share my experience with depression. To the outsider: I'm a mom, wife, co-worker, fitness enthusiast, friend, and overall positive light. Depression is an invisible yet debilitating aurora that eats me; it's the unexplained pain that bursts out when things otherwise seem tolerable. Sometimes it's just that meh feeling that turns dark, fast. It makes me feel broken.

As a mom, I am the backbone of my family. I have to maintain my composure and keep going regardless of how I feel. People will argue this as modern day sexism, etc. but the reality is, I am the backup to my backup. No one is coming to rescue me and take care of the punch-list looming. I have to ensure my kids are well-fed, have a roof over their heads, and are hopefully able to be kids for as long as they can! I feel like I am running a marathon while riding on a rollercoaster most days.

I know there are so many others out there struggling with their own inner demons, outer stresses, and let's face it mom: strong willed kids! Some things I say will be so relatable, some you might find peace with, others might disturb you. My wish is a safe place to come together, where we can laugh, cry, heal, and grow.

There are days when I wake up feeling great, and then there are days when I don't want to wake up at all. It's a constant battle of trying to keep my thoughts positive and maintain a good mindset. To anyone who is facing depression or any kind of mental health challenge, I want to remind you that you are not alone. There is help out there available. It's okay to ask for it, and it's ok not to be ok. Remember that your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Take care of yourself and know that you are not broken.

Signing off,

A mom who is a bit bruised, definitely not broken.